You ever think someone is listening to you more intent on responding than in understanding what you are saying? I highly suspect you have. I think this may happen even more often when you post on Facebook (or, I guess, any other social medium) than in direct conversation. You know, those comments that make you want to ask, “Did you really read the post?”
Mixed in with a lot of good discussion, I see many comments that seem to miss the point, either by chance or choice. Sometimes the repliers are pushing their own agendas, picking up on some tangential word or phrase to change the discussion’s direction. Some people’s agenda is to show how intelligent they (think they) are, such spelling out what is implied – usually intentionally for effect – in the post. For example, regarding some list of “100 things you should do before you die,” I said I planned to do 99 of them and let it go at that. I thought it was more amusing, if not also impactful that way. Still, someone felt a need to comment, “So that you won’t die.” Or, making an obvious allusion to a familiar poem or song and having someone feel a need to give the title.
At times, there are those who just want to present themselves as real wits (and usually they are half right). Some individuals apparently just like to troll their friends, an online version of trash talking, which many people enjoy though many others find annoying. (I’m in the latter group.)
One missed-point situation that comes to mind is a time I posted that AT&T had sent me a letter – yet again – congratulating me on being such a good customer that they would allow me to spend even more money with them. I thought people would appreciate the humor and that many would’ve had similar experiences. Yet, because I mentioned that the letter went directly into recycling, some people chose to discuss junk mail, rather than lame marketing.
Some comments are real head-scratchers. One time when I posted a group of photos clearly labeled “Trip to New York,” I included on I took in the subway. One comment was, “Boston? NY?” Similarly, when I’m at the beach, I post photos of each day’s sunrise. I begin as much as an hour before the sun appears to give a taste of that day’s “show.” I captioned one such photo of the color in the dawn sky, “Less than 19 minutes to go,” drawing the comment, “Until?” Another person seemed oblivious to my regular posting of sunrise photos at the beach by commenting, “Couldn’t sleep?” To which I replied, “Could. Didn’t want to.”
On someone else’s post about the University of South Carolina’s trying to highjack the name “Carolina,” I commented that UNC was here first. Since all the people in the conversation were UNC alums, I phrased it, “We’ve been Carolina since 1789.” Someone somehow apparently chose to read it that I was saying my ancestors had been in NC that long, even though family genealogy was certainly not what we were discussing. They said I was “late to the party,” noting that their antecedents landed in NC before 1789 (though not before mine, in fact, migrated here from England and Germany). Scratching my head was the only appropriate reaction to that one.
I have shared my system for making money off the lottery. I don’t buy tickets but invest the money I would have spent (wasted) on them. I have given a couple of updates over the years, letting people know how well I continue to fare. The first time I presented this system, someone commented that they had rarely played. Thus, they concluded, “I am more than likely way ahead of you in my unspendings.” I scratched my head, then noted that can be true only if “rarely” means “less often than never.”
Maybe sometimes some people have trouble giving me enough credit. There was the time I went to lunch with part of a group of friends. Because some in the group were unable to be there, I entered the restaurant along with four or five females. The person showing us to our table asked me, “How do you rate all these women?” In a rare moment in which I didn’t have to wait a day or two to come up with the best response, I said, “10.”
It was a sincere, comprehensive evaluation, appreciated by members of the group. Yet several comments were along the lines of “smart” and “diplomatic.” Did they think I didn’t mean it? Did they think I say things just to say them? Maybe so, because maybe they themselves are prone to say things just to say them.
Sometimes, people may miss the point and/or insert their own agendas with good intentions. I shared a post encouraging people to support Western North Carolina businesses, recovering from Hurricane Helene, by buying Christmas gifts from them. One commentor changed the topic to giving money to individuals, which they were doing. I explained my point further: “This post is about helping restore businesses in WNC. As long as we’re Christmas shopping anyway, why not spend some of that money with them?” I added, “I would hope everyone who can has already donated or is donating directly to individuals affected and/or organizations in place to handle those donations.”
Other times, it seems they just want to troll.
Since the TV series “Downton Abbey” first appeared on PBS’s Masterpiece Theatre, I’ve been continually amused at how often individuals add a second “w” and make it an abbey that is “downtown,” as opposed to somewhere else. To satirize this, I posted that my wife (Nancy Tannenbaum) and I were considering naming our home “Bectown Abbey.” (Note the extraneous “w” added to my last name. ) One wag commented, “Tannenton Abbey’ has a nicer ring,” leaving me to counter, “It does ring but hardly works as the intended satire.”
Sometimes, it’s difficult to tell if they are just trying to troll or if they, for whatever reason, just can’t understand.
Such as the time I posted that, despite what some nice people living in great states north of here seem to think about our road crews’ abilities, recent snow and ice had been promptly removed. Yet, one of those nice people asked, “Do you need our help?” After considering several possible retorts, I went with, “Help? Well, I do need to change a bulb in a recessed fixture in our 12-foot kitchen ceiling. I could use someone to steady the ladder.”
I wouldn’t be surprised if you, too, have had ample occasions to scratch your own head when seeing some individuals’ comments to things you’ve posted.
Here’s another for me:
A few years ago, I posted a photo of newspaper story about a baseball game. The headline was, “Rocky Pitcher Horror Show,” a play on the name of one of my favorite movies. I explained, “Of all the sports I don’t follow, baseball is high on the list, but I appreciate a good headline.”
A fan of the team to whom this happened felt a need to comment, “Temporary glitch.” So, I explained again: “The post is about the headline. I assume
your comment is on the game. I have little knowledge and no opinion on that. I just like how the headline writer handled it.
I’ve been trying harder to be more specific in my posts and to explain further in comments when it’s still not clear. I’ve said things such as, “Maybe another of my characteristic subtle posts. If you don’t get it, just scroll on by. If you do get it, you don’t have to show off by finishing the sentence or otherwise explaining.” Yet I later had to reply to my own comment: “Some apparently missed the last sentence of this comment. 😀”
I could go on: My post about phishing scams in which I said that after receiving a notice (not from Amazon) that my account had been locked, I went directly to my account and placed an order. Yet someone said, “Are you saying you placed an order through a fake site?” (I replied, “No, that wouldn’t make any sense.”)
OR, the humorous post about inferiority complexes that someone turned into a discussion of problems with aging. Or a discussion of teams in the World Series, in which someone opined that their favorite Triple A team was among the best. (OK, well, maybe better than some MLB teams, but not likely one that made the Series.)
I’ll stop going on here, though I have enough examples in my notes for two more blog posts. I’m certain you get the idea and could likely offer an abundance of examples from your own experience.
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